Mother’s day is meant to be a day of celebration and yet, for those of us who have lost our moms, the holiday can feel like a day of mourning. A lesson my mom taught me, though, is to always celebrate—no matter what the circumstances. So today I choose to still celebrate my mom and find the joy in the hardship.
Here are 3 ways that help me find joy and cherish my mom’s memory:
Keep tradition alive. My favorite way of keeping my mom’s memory alive is cooking with her recipes and passing them on to other family members. Even if I’m sad that she’s no longer here, I can remember how much she loved certain foods, or a specific holiday where she served a favorite dish. If your mom didn’t love cooking, look to another tradition she loved. It can be craft-based like sewing or maybe you have a piece of jewelry or clothing that you can wear. My mom loved light pink nail polish, so painting my nails pink is another way I can stay connected to her. I’m sure as you brainstorm, you will come up with more than one tradition!
Surround yourself with loved ones. Sometimes we feel like being close to the friends and family who knew our mom can make it harder for us on a day like Mother’s Day. But support is important. The more we isolate ourselves, the more isolated we become. Even if you don’t have a party or meal planned, reach out to a friend or family member and plan some sort of outing. Even a short walk or meeting for coffee.
Talk about her. Just like being around loved ones who knew your mom can be hard, so can talking about her. But that is part of keeping her memory alive and honoring her. You can have your own special moment where you send your love directly to her when you wake up in the morning or you can have a conversation with a friend or family member. The other day over dinner my dad reminisced about how much my mom’s roses loved the climate of his new house. Since her death, he’s taken those potted roses with him to every house he’s moved to. It’s his way of honoring her, but also brings him pride to keep those roses healthy and happy. Him mentioning them brought me joy, because the roses were so important to her. Don’t put pressure on yourself for this one. Let the memories guide you and if doesn’t feel right to talk about her out loud, consider writing it down. That is how my memoir got started!
However you choose to honor your mother today, know that you are right in how you express your love and her memory. Know that honoring her memory in any way is honoring and carrying on that love. And most importantly, know that you are not alone.
Today I send each and every one of you my love and encourage you to pass it on however you can. I would love to hear some of the ways you honor and cherish your mother’s memory today and everyday!